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So, how's that "I wouldn't live anywhere else" thing working out for you New Yorkers? 
I call bulls*** on killing someone with kindness... that "kindness" crap won't even maim someone.
just because you're on vacation doesn't give you the right to take a picture of every cocktail or check in at every bar. That falls in the category of, "I could care less"
a gift to AMERICA .....President's BIRTH certificate and Bin Laden's DEATH certificate!!
hey did you guys hear? The Apprentice was interrupted by some special news report....
So with all that news last week about the iPhone 4 tracking all kinds of stuff, makes me wonder....did Bin Laden have an iPhone 4?
Somewhere, In An Afterlife, Sir Henry Cooper Is Beating Seven Shades Out Of Osama Bin Laden :)
I still say I heard someone talking from under that sheet when we tossed the body overboard, but whatever. Can't go back in time.
was preparing for Sunday, but I just realized that post-rapture looting makes no sense because so many of us will still be here. Particularly people in public office and law enforcement.... : (
Dear Punxsutawney Phil, If you are not frozen, please come out of your little home tomorrow morning with your eyes closed(so you don't see your shadow) and flip everyone off. That should sum up this winter.
waiting for wolf blitzer to invite the situation to the situation room ....
The uneasy moment when you can't understand someone even though they repeated themselves 5 times.
FACEBOOK - helping people get sh*t off their chest since 2007
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
You should see the places I've been on my stationary bike
The tortoise and the hare is a classic fable, but the moral only helps you when racing a guy who takes a nap with a big enough lead.
When the wife and kids go on vacation, I always keep the neighbors on edge by placing rectangular mounds of dirt throughout the yard.
still in a relationship. Cuz I didnt win the mega millions
Bubba Watson looks like Latka from the TV show Taxi
It is impossible to cut a cheese tray without eating the irregular cuts.
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