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Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three. 
ATMs be having $4 withdrawal fees talking about "cover your pin" mf you the thief
I’ve got your stimulus package right here.
You think quarantine is boring? I just edited all the slow motion scenes in Baywatch back to regular speed. The entire series was only 16 minutes long.
Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after sum1 had blown on it..Good times
Nobody drops pianos on people like they used to and that’s a shame.
Looking at people posts I think facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “What’s your problem today!?”
Finally sorted the Tupperware cupboard. Only took 20 minutes and fifty seven days.
So, how's that "I wouldn't live anywhere else" thing working out for you New Yorkers?
Hey UNITED, my ex is flying from Atlanta to San Antonio, flight 2145 row 12, seat D. Do your thing
Can anyone tell me the name of that Jennifer Anniston movie? You know, the one where she plays the quirky girl who untimately finds love in the end?
Never trust atoms. They make up everything
My exercise program consists of following women at the store who are wearing tight yoga pants.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
Shouldn't a female Pit Bull be called a Pit Cow?
Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!
Eclipse glasses for sale. Slightly used
Dear Baseball, Six innings is plenty.
Why are we all Facebook friends with an English teacher we had in high school
The opposite of formaldehyde is casualhyde 