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will never understand rich people with messed up teeth. 
wondering if a turtle loses its shell, does that make it homeless or naked?
trying to remeber what she wasn't supposed to forget :-/
I looked away to not sneeze on my keyboard, and sneezed on the fan and it went in my face
was such a Don Juan growing up, the girls Don Juan anything to do with him...
“Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.”
I'm just not that into you.....when I'm sober.
once blinded someone with science, which, unfortunately, turned out to be an A-class felony.
When is the excessive use of the word 'swagg' going to die already. Getting tired of hearing it in every rap song. Bad enough people don't even know the true meaning of it.
Feds are indicting Clemens for perjury, said they knew he was on steriods when they saw his nose grow
Did a Facebook search for childhood friends. Found out they're still people but DID NOT ADD THEM. That's how you use Facebook. For stalking.
Dishes done....check.....laundry folded....check.....kids in bed.....check. And my wife says I am emasculated! Maybe I should look it up in the dictionary to see what it really means....
the first to the fridge, the first to the couch, and most importantly the first to the remote. What it is to be a true champion......
optimist drowns in half full tub
When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only I suffer!!!
Starting my new excercise routine- I am tired of looking like I have two sets of breasts.
if you think weakness can be turned into strength, I hate to tell you this buddy; but that is another weakness.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
Watching NASA TV and the launch prep for STS-120 ... and I am somehow jealous that they get to leave the Earth.
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