Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

   pushed his luck so much so it fell of the cliff.... now only hard work remains!!!

   Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk

   Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

   Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

   You guys are so confusing - You tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights! ~"

   Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

   You can get more things accomplished with a kind word and a gun, then just a kind word alone, "Al Copone"

   knows that her house wont clean itself, but thinks that it really should make the effort!!!

   "You think you're better than me?" No, I don't fall prey to the notion that one person can be 'better' than another. How good a person is, is completely impossible to quantify. I do think I'm smarter than you, though. And infinitely more awesome.

   I'm willing to bet the first medicine man was really just a lazy fat ass who figured out a way to get out of hunting or gathering.

   Theres too much blood in my caffeine system!!

   Sure, I've got buns of steel. Just look in the breadbox.

   Ok,,, I really like you Thursday, but it's Friday I truly love. It's not that I'm not happy when i'm with you, it's just that Friday does so much more for me!!!

   She says she doesn't have to change her relationship status on Facebook to show her love? It's because she's still banging her ex.

   According to the new astrological signs, astrology is still complete bullsh!t.

   needs to have a fixed income... mine is broken.

   credits Tetris for the speed and agility I display when loading the dishwasher.

   ever have one of those days when you wish you had the Cone of Silence so you could scream your lungs out without anyone hearing you after debating with a friend who is stuck on stupid?

   There is a day just for humping??!! Why wasn't I notified about this sooner?!