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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Science Schmience. I think they've got it backwards. Birds don't fly south for the winter, they fly north for the summer. Nyah!
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10-10-2011 20:10 by
MC Bird Brain
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Watching Nat geographic channel all day, I now know how not to smuggle drugs across our border and how to Breakout of jail if I'm locked up abroad.
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08-10-2011 22:43
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I think things did not work out between us because we both loved the same person; I loved you and you loved yourself.
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08-17-2011 02:13 by
KISSTOPHER
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Having too many friends on facebook is like operating a junk infected e-mail account
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08-25-2011 13:16
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The two best days of school are the first and the last.
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09-10-2011 06:32
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I've spent a small fortune on dog toys and the he's outside chewing on a cardboard box.
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06-03-2011 11:26 by
Marshall the Great
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Friends: Just because I ask you to go somewhere or do something doesn't mean I'm offering to pay your share of it.
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06-22-2011 12:30
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Mothers of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young
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07-02-2010 12:45 by
@seddy90
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whenever I see a guy that looks better then me, I immediately get intimadated that he's gonna take all the girls from me, but later I find out there not into girls. so, it all works out."
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07-02-2010 18:05 by
Dylan Bosch
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DAMN! Its a preview of Hell outside today!!!
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07-08-2010 13:59
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wondering if I'll ever be mature enough to stop laughing at the word "duty".
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07-12-2010 06:29 by
tyrannees
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Thanks to Facebook, I no longer check breaking news, celebrity obituaries or wonder what the current weather is like.
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08-04-2010 19:20
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The WHO has declared the flu pandemic officially over. It's good news but I'm not sure I trust Roger Daltry.
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08-11-2010 11:18
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Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.
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08-22-2010 15:57
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Tip for the day: Don't throw manure into the wind.
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04-03-2010 18:06 by
joe fool
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's 3 year old daughter has shown herself to be a real woman. She has no interest in baseball and had no interest in Daddie until baseball came on.
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04-15-2010 19:24 by
QueenBee404
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What did all these desperate people do to get laid before the internet?
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04-18-2010 22:00
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My childhood self would be surprised I'm not playing with knives and fireworks, just because I can
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04-29-2010 16:51 by
Joser
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busy swimming in the deep end of the pool so not to drown in the shallowness of the world.
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05-13-2010 11:20
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If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "sh**" and "syphilis
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06-21-2010 18:28 by
Phire
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