Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You're too cute to be single." and you're too ugly to be flirting with me.

   "Obese roll models" joke was done just 2 pages ago, does no one check before they copy and paste others twitter jokes anymore? Just rude....

   People only speak about your life because their own lives are nothing to speak of.

   It would be so cool if I could see what my life would be like if I had made different decisions.

   That uneasy moment between your birth and your death.

   Yes, people who exercise live longer. But those extra years are spent...umm...excercising!

   Do you call Gatorade by the color instead of the flavor. 

   Pizza Hut is selling a pizza with hotdogs in the crust???... Aren't the type of people who order this,, the same people who aren't able to waddle quick enough to answer the door?

   Please stop picturing me naked... I haven't even brushed my teeth yet!

   I'm convinced that anyone driving the speed limit or slower is either 80+yrs. Or has drugs in their car...

   I hate mosquitoes, they're like nature's version of a Jehovah's Witness..........

   I'm not Crazy, I'm just a sane person trapped in the body of a Lunatic!!!

   I was just dishonorably discharged from Old Navy.

   Can't we all just learn how to swim?

   Its Soo Hot....The Jehovah Witnesses ain't even out today.

   As boy's we all way's wondered what was in a girl's diary.Now facebook has shown us !!

   Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

   What did moths fly into before electricity?

   Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won't be listening then either.

   Drive slow and enjoy the scenery . Drive fast and join the scenery.