Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I bribed a cop this morning, handed him my drivers license with a doughnut underneath
←Rate | 09-29-2010 20:51 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon To whom it may concern, The inventor of thirsty Thursday obviously never had to work on friday...
←Rate | 10-01-2010 11:10 by Logan.T Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a picture of me with the band REM. That's me in the corner.
←Rate | 12-05-2010 12:16 by lemonpillow Comments (4)  


   messageicon single moms do not get to celebrate fathers day, go grab your 50 Shades book and zip it
←Rate | 06-17-2012 11:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon go to translate.google.com - type "........" change language to Japanese, click listen... Enjoy!
←Rate | 02-22-2014 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is in a relationship with the stock market and it's complicated.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 10:14 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon RIP-Michael Clark Duncan. You've walked the last "Green mile".
←Rate | 09-03-2012 18:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A relationship is like a house. If a light bulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house. You fix the light bulb.....Unless the house is a total jerk-off. In that case, you burn that sucker down and buy a better house with good light bulbs.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 14:04 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is Boxing Day in Canada. Or, as we in America call it; WTF is Boxing Day??
←Rate | 12-26-2012 11:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but as soon as I'm busy, BAM... still nobody texts me.
←Rate | 12-29-2012 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here are my 4 favorite quotes: " " " "
←Rate | 01-28-2013 07:29 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon the fact that Taylor Swift has a new boyfriend is proof that guys are idiots...
←Rate | 11-17-2012 10:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh... you pay for Netflix and iTunes? I see you don't know how to really use the internet.
←Rate | 11-27-2012 09:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I post,, I get a rush like I'm releasing a little animal into the wild... A hideous, deformed animal that no one will ever love...
←Rate | 07-09-2012 21:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guy: I love u. Girl: Aww really? Boy: Yep, Its my favorite vowel.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 02:09 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 332 words.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 03:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear boys with no shirt in their profile picture, I like your phone. Sincerely, hunny you have no abs
←Rate | 06-02-2011 15:44 by Mudda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why haven't they proved/disproved the myth "Once you go black you never go back" on Myth Busters?
←Rate | 08-30-2011 20:45 by @Kid_Eddi88 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A surprise threesome is a great way to show your girlfriend that you really do like her friends.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 15:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon People learn english all the time, It arent that hard
←Rate | 01-19-2011 19:04 by Bdog Comments (0)  



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