Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon It ain't Ghana happen!! Go U.S.A!!!
←Rate | 06-16-2014 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you mix Jack Daniels with a Smirnoff, are you drinking a jack-off?
←Rate | 07-26-2014 23:54 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon When two sets of boobs cross paths, the larger set has the right of way.
←Rate | 08-25-2014 08:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pledged allegiance “to the Republic for Witches Stand” until the 4th grade.
←Rate | 01-03-2016 09:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid..They didnt call it ADHD.. They called it you getting a whoopin' you little brat!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 21:48 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honey, I let myself go and gained all this weight to prevent other men from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 04:54 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention all crackheads,and homeless people.... it is a very bad time to ask me if I have any "spare change" when I'm pumping $4.39 a gallon gas into my car.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 16:25 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon oh yes, talk dirty to me...whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Tell me how you're gonna bend over that sink and ... wash them damn dishes!
←Rate | 06-06-2012 20:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bigfoot post was awesome. Pay attention people, this is the kind of stuff we're looking for!
←Rate | 06-23-2012 22:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween isn't really that different than any other day.. everyone's still pretending to be someone or something their not.
←Rate | 10-28-2011 00:42 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching the Cowboys. The John Wayne ones, not the loosing ones.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 21:00 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What do you call a French man in sandals? A. Philippe Philoppe
←Rate | 08-13-2010 13:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street, smack them on the chest, yell 'YOU'RE IT!!' and then run away.
←Rate | 12-08-2009 00:06 by EaglesFanClub.com Comments (0)  


   messageicon NASA is only bombing the moon to help get rid of werewolves...
←Rate | 10-09-2009 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw an unemployed,homeless dwarf. He had a sign that said "No job. Too small."
←Rate | 11-29-2009 10:01 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if someone driving a VW bug knows they are causing fistfights wherever they go.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 22:06 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon My girlfriend got f**ked by a clown before we dated. So I have some pretty big shoes to fill.
←Rate | 10-23-2010 13:34 by A is for ME Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Rock has lost 48 million followers in the last few days.
←Rate | 10-02-2020 16:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
←Rate | 04-28-2013 21:43 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you plant a block of Ramen noodles in the ground and water it with Bud Lite it will grow into a college student named Todd who loves MMA...
←Rate | 04-04-2013 10:52 by JEBI Comments (0)  



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