Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Not everyone you like will like you back and vice versa. Such is life. Sounding bitter and whiny about it probably won't help your cause.

   New diet idea. Have someone break your heart.....don't eat for 3 months

   If crazy were a place, it would be here.

   Vick's career has always been dogged by bad decisions ..

   I'm not real good about sharing my feelings unless I hate you.

   A delete and block combo coming right up.

   30 Days Of Gratitude: Day 14: You're all welcome. (Am I doing it right?)

   As I scroll through my FB feed this holiday season, I find myself overcome with emotion and love. And then I remember I've had a lot of tequila and eggnog and I pass out on the floor.

   Facebook is the best way to prove that you made the right decision when you broke up with that person you dated in high school.

   When I stay at a man's house that I want to see again I always "accidentally" lose something there, like my phone, my sweater, or my dignity.

   ".. So he sayeth unto me 'Taketh NyQuil with the Wine and Ye shall feel the path with your thoughts and hear things with your vision.'"

   My wife called me a child. I told her, be careful who you're calling a child because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert.

   You haven’t seen a woman overreact until you tell her she is overreacting.

   The Twelve Jurors In The Casey Anthony Trial. Names Released! Homer Simpson, Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Kelly Bundy, Eric Cartman Joey Tribbiani, Beavis, Butthead, Edith Bunker, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Coyote.

   just sneezed out a huge snot bubble in front of a client, so I panicked, sucked it back up my nose, and yelled "TA-DA!". Good save?

   If you laugh like this ----> bahaha, I assume you're part sheep. ;)

   Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...

   If Satan ever loses his hair, there will be Hell toupee.

   Somewhere In A Ghetto Household A 4 year old is "droppin it" like its hot while the family is clappin & yellin "Go SHANIQUA! Work it girl!"

   World Cup fixtures: on Monday Argentina meets Brazil in Cape Town. On Tuesday Spain meets Italy in Johannesburg and on Wednesday England meets France at the AIRPORT !!!