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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I wish Doc would hurry up with that Flux Capacitor so we don't have to pay these ridiculous f&^kin' gas prices!!
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02-24-2011 14:06 by
urboyblue
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bets that the first guy to ever dress up as a clown was really creepy.
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02-27-2011 15:00
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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
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03-01-2011 03:59 by
RoN
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My chat box is now open for flirting.
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07-22-2011 15:32
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Do it today. it might be illegal tomorrow.
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08-05-2011 10:50 by
KISSTOPHER
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Putting you're offline chat on Facebook so it actually looks like you have a life and don't sit on Facebook all day.
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09-20-2011 20:05 by
BEGO
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Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
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09-23-2011 06:21 by
flinnie
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A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”
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10-05-2011 12:50 by
KISSTOPHER
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When something bad happens you have 3 choices, You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
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10-12-2011 13:28 by
Master Weeg
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Free speech is guaranteed under the U.S constitution. Intelligence is not. Just watch the news.
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04-22-2011 15:46 by
TVD
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Antoine Dodson arrested for possession of marijuana. He should have added that to his list of things to hide...
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04-23-2011 18:46 by
@Qpid901
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to the guy above this.. I'm talking about the world ending..
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05-19-2011 10:27
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"I didn't know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book"
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08-26-2011 07:24
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Some of you are so dumb, I don't even know how you found the internet.
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06-28-2013 11:53
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If by romantic you mean being indifferent and occasionally funny, then yes, I'm super romantic.
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07-07-2013 13:02
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If you don't hate yourself after it, you haven't eaten enough.
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07-12-2013 13:18 by
Kisstopher707
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I still have every movie I've ever rented.
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07-16-2013 02:23 by
Czovczov
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I've decided to quit drinking! Instead I'm peeling the labels off my beer sticking them to my forehead and telling everyone I'm on the patch
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07-17-2013 12:04
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Karma means I can sleep at night, knowing that everyone I mistreated today had it coming!
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07-26-2013 09:52 by
equaloppjoker
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I think the only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of girls,,, and having ALL of them like it.
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08-10-2013 10:05 by
snotty
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