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I wish Doc would hurry up with that Flux Capacitor so we don't have to pay these ridiculous f&^kin' gas prices!! 
bets that the first guy to ever dress up as a clown was really creepy.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
My chat box is now open for flirting.
Do it today. it might be illegal tomorrow.
Putting you're offline chat on Facebook so it actually looks like you have a life and don't sit on Facebook all day.
Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”
When something bad happens you have 3 choices, You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
Free speech is guaranteed under the U.S constitution. Intelligence is not. Just watch the news.
Antoine Dodson arrested for possession of marijuana. He should have added that to his list of things to hide...
to the guy above this.. I'm talking about the world ending..
"I didn't know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book"
Some of you are so dumb, I don't even know how you found the internet.
If by romantic you mean being indifferent and occasionally funny, then yes, I'm super romantic.
If you don't hate yourself after it, you haven't eaten enough.
I still have every movie I've ever rented.
I've decided to quit drinking! Instead I'm peeling the labels off my beer sticking them to my forehead and telling everyone I'm on the patch
Karma means I can sleep at night, knowing that everyone I mistreated today had it coming!
I think the only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of girls,,, and having ALL of them like it.
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