Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Just saw someone in Wall mart with a Bluetooth, it was his only tooth
←Rate | 11-03-2015 09:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can only assume the next 4 weeks are incredibly difficult for people who's grandmother's were actually run over by reindeer. ..
←Rate | 12-02-2015 06:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A barbed wire tattoo is a great way to keep people from breaking into your upper arm.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 14:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend claims I try to make everything into a 'quiz'. Is that: a) weird, b) annoying, or c) unfair
←Rate | 01-10-2014 19:36 by @ballysboots Comments (0)  


   messageicon You seem unstable, wanna get an apartment together?
←Rate | 01-12-2014 11:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Greatest Generation stormed Normandy so that today, we could storm Target.
←Rate | 11-28-2014 21:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 12:57 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My password is SupermanHulkThor, its the strongest password I can think of.
←Rate | 03-09-2015 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy 4/21 -national surprise drug test day!
←Rate | 04-21-2015 00:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cats. Because why should conditional love only come from family?
←Rate | 05-25-2012 08:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always eat what is right. Sometimes I eat what is left.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 23:09 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you try to change others, remember how hard it is to change yourself.
←Rate | 01-30-2012 11:17 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Facebook! Where liars tell more lies, enemies are Facebook friends, weak people turn into Facebook gangsters, haters complain about haters and every person who talks about money ain't got none.
←Rate | 02-01-2012 17:13 by Tsparks Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the South we don't pay no attention to that stupid ground hog. We go out and look at the bush hog, if there is frost on it, it's still cold... dammit.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 18:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls don't dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
←Rate | 02-02-2012 18:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Condoms DO NOT guarentee safe sex anymore... A FB friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's Husband...
←Rate | 02-09-2012 22:22 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spent 15 damn minutes looking for my phone in the car last night while using my phone asa a light, yup that high..
←Rate | 02-26-2012 21:34 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK..... Not making a Latin American joke today was one of my Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooals
←Rate | 07-10-2012 07:45 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hump Day" is a crock! I haven't been laid on a Wednesday since 2007!
←Rate | 11-16-2011 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to make it rain but now there is coffee everywhere and one of my coworkers is on the way to the hospital.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 09:59 by shaun Comments (0)  



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