Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon ...If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
←Rate | 10-19-2009 14:42 by E Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings.like,"Well I'm bored let's go brush our teeth"!
←Rate | 02-17-2011 00:29 by Mmz Comments (1)  


   messageicon I walked a mile their shoes and I didn't end up carrying a flat screen 50" TV out of a closed store in Ferguson.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 05:39 by Bob B Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some say chivalry is dead, but given the number of times I've held in a fart while getting a blow job, I'd say chivalry is alive & well.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 14:16 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I saw my new girlfriend for the first time, it was like looking at a fine piece of priceless art. So I took her home and nailed her against the wall.
←Rate | 01-03-2013 21:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon It may be the early bird that gets the worm. But it?s the second mouse that gets the cheese.
←Rate | 04-14-2008 20:59 by Vicki Dc Comments (0)  


   messageicon cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
←Rate | 04-22-2008 09:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey South Park... How about another episode making fun of Mohammed?
←Rate | 09-12-2012 08:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Recognizing Cuba, bastion of human oppression, is an insult to our noble allies in Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Yemen, Iraq, Pakistan and Texas.
←Rate | 12-22-2014 13:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon CELEBRATING CAPS LOCK AWARENESS DAY
←Rate | 12-04-2008 01:58 by The Cool Brian Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time a white guy sags his pants, somewhere in the world, a black baby grows up with a father.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎7-eleven, mini-marts, and several gas stations will be closed this week due to a death in the family...
←Rate | 05-04-2011 09:31 by srpdrzman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are like bacon: They look good, They smell good, They taste good, And they will kill you slowly.
←Rate | 07-17-2013 14:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember, someone loves everything you hate about yourself.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 21:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon beating his record for consecutive days alive !
←Rate | 04-01-2009 11:02 by Ryan Comments (0)  


   messageicon If letting him bang me while I wear reindeer antlers and a painted red nose doesn't get him in the Christmas spirit nothing will!
←Rate | 12-21-2010 09:46 by Retics Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me - "Hey Whats up!" Her - "Nothing I feel sick" Me - "awe, why?" Her - "Im on my period..." (walk away slowly and dont say another word)
←Rate | 10-05-2010 19:42 by RONNIEET Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 15:50 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Hollywood are already planning a movie about the life of Elizabeth Taylor. It's provisionally titled 'Eight Weddings and a Funeral'.
←Rate | 03-28-2011 03:35 by manbearpig Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I die my gravestone is going to have a "Like" button.
←Rate | 04-07-2011 09:31 by Likwid Comments (1)  



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