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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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...If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
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10-19-2009 14:42 by
E
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We need a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings.like,"Well I'm bored let's go brush our teeth"!
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02-17-2011 00:29 by
Mmz
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I walked a mile their shoes and I didn't end up carrying a flat screen 50" TV out of a closed store in Ferguson.
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08-21-2014 05:39 by
Bob B
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Some say chivalry is dead, but given the number of times I've held in a fart while getting a blow job, I'd say chivalry is alive & well.
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11-30-2013 14:16 by
Baddie
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When I saw my new girlfriend for the first time, it was like looking at a fine piece of priceless art. So I took her home and nailed her against the wall.
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01-03-2013 21:34 by
Marshall the Great
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It may be the early bird that gets the worm. But it?s the second mouse that gets the cheese.
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04-14-2008 20:59 by
Vicki Dc
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cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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04-22-2008 09:15
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Hey South Park... How about another episode making fun of Mohammed?
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09-12-2012 08:06
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Recognizing Cuba, bastion of human oppression, is an insult to our noble allies in Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Yemen, Iraq, Pakistan and Texas.
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12-22-2014 13:37 by
SEAN
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CELEBRATING CAPS LOCK AWARENESS DAY
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12-04-2008 01:58 by
The Cool Brian
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Every time a white guy sags his pants, somewhere in the world, a black baby grows up with a father.
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12-27-2011 06:44
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7-eleven, mini-marts, and several gas stations will be closed this week due to a death in the family...
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05-04-2011 09:31 by
srpdrzman
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Women are like bacon: They look good, They smell good, They taste good, And they will kill you slowly.
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07-17-2013 14:40 by
HiYourJon
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Just remember, someone loves everything you hate about yourself.
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04-25-2012 21:22 by
BEGO
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beating his record for consecutive days alive !
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04-01-2009 11:02 by
Ryan
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If letting him bang me while I wear reindeer antlers and a painted red nose doesn't get him in the Christmas spirit nothing will!
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12-21-2010 09:46 by
Retics
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Me - "Hey Whats up!" Her - "Nothing I feel sick" Me - "awe, why?" Her - "Im on my period..." (walk away slowly and dont say another word)
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10-05-2010 19:42 by
RONNIEET
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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
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01-29-2011 15:50 by
@psym0niedk9
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Hollywood are already planning a movie about the life of Elizabeth Taylor. It's provisionally titled 'Eight Weddings and a Funeral'.
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03-28-2011 03:35 by
manbearpig
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when I die my gravestone is going to have a "Like" button.
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04-07-2011 09:31 by
Likwid
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