Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If you aren't happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it.

   the status below me is the furthest from funny a status could be. this is not a world topic blog. bring the funny or shut it.

   Gas prices are so high...I saw a street gang doing a walk-by

   Smart folks don't care a damn about the cause because they know the reason for the cause barely exists. Dumb folks are fooled into thinking it does. Comply with LEO's, exit your car if asked, don't walk or run away, don't reach for a gun or knife. Simple.

   Hillary sucks

   I figure there are 3 types of people in this world....Those that can count, and those that cannot!!

   I see Coke is once again running their popular "Look Under the Cap to Try Again" contest.

   was so depressed last night that I called Lifeline. I got through to a call centre in Afghanistan. I told them I was suicidal - they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

   I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy

   I'd like to thank my mom for helping me out of some real tight spots over the years. Starting with the day I was born.

   Just once i'd like to write out a check in crayon..

   When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

   I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want.

   If you put reindeer antlers on your car I hope Ted Nugent shoots it

   "I hate Tacos!" Said no Juan ever

   Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???

   ''Mommy does Barbie come with Ken?'' ......''No sweetheart she comes with G.I.Joe, she just fakes it with Ken!!!''

   Whenever someone says to me "You look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I say, "Do you watch porn?"

   My boss told me 85,000,000 times today that I really need to stop exaggerating.

   kissed a girl and I liked it. She, on the other hand; filed a restraining order.