Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Nothing says "I'm stubborn" like owning a BlackBerry in 2015
←Rate | 07-21-2015 15:44 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's so cold out by the time I walked to the car, the footlong I got at Subway was on a 6 incher.
←Rate | 12-08-2013 15:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... Please tell me more about how YOU came to OUR country and now YOU want US to change OUR traditions because THEY offend YOU and YOU want US to change to suit YOU and YOUR ways. What if I told YOU ... It's YOU that NEEDS to CHANGE ungrateful Dumbass!!
←Rate | 05-12-2016 14:28 Comments (5)  


   messageicon May the pillow be cooler on the other side ...RIP Stuart Scott
←Rate | 01-04-2015 12:17 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
←Rate | 08-12-2014 05:30 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ran out of Anti-Depressants, so I'm drinking my bottle of No More Tears Shampoo.
←Rate | 10-07-2014 21:05 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."... Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 17:00 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon I want to start an electric company called Grayskull so that millions of homes can be run by the power of Grayskull.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance!
←Rate | 04-17-2012 23:08 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were to lose your left arm your right one would be left.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think less people would tempted to use an "Out of Order" Toilet... if the sign actually read... "Ain't Takin' NO Sh*t"!
←Rate | 02-25-2012 11:33 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the last f*cking time, this is the first time I'm seeing this movie and we started watching it at the exact same moment. I don't know the answer to your question.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 21:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there was ever a Titanic themed party and you couldn't figure out what to go as, you could always go as an iceberg and crash the party.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:30 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its all fun and games till your both naked and someone is getting their face nawed on.
←Rate | 05-29-2012 23:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I said to a fat girl today, "You're a big girl!" She replied, "Tell me something I don't know." I said, "Salad tastes good."
←Rate | 03-12-2012 12:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 11:07 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again!!
←Rate | 08-21-2011 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hate America leave & dont post here anymore for already.
←Rate | 02-03-2014 17:03 by Hacksaw Jim Thuggin Comments (0)  


   messageicon eating all the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms cereal...
←Rate | 05-30-2008 10:13 by Jen Z. Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Iran and Syria are able to compromise more then Republicans, you know our country has a problem.
←Rate | 10-01-2013 10:08 Comments (1)  



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