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Don't worry, I got your back. And your ass. And a little in your hair too. 
Ghetto word of the Day: DISAPPOINTMENT. Usage: My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gonna throw my ass back in jail.
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!
Hi, Faithbook! - Mike Tyson
I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to those in America who still have faith in, and who resoundingly support Hillary Clinton. I applaud all 3 of yall :)
its so hot, I just saw a bird blow a worm before it ate it
Time's running out if you want a chance at a Christmas / New Year baby.. I'm free for the next couple nights..
[this comment has been removed due to legal action by the Church of Scientology]
A girl's moan is the sexiest sound, ever.
You know it's getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
I don't think people like the hugs I dish out. They say its weird during mid hug when I whisper in their ear..."Just relax and spread that hug all over me".
Two tips for faster jogging (1) hot guy in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you
Taking a looooooong time to get up today. I think If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.
I don't believe in neither the Democratic party nor the Republican party. I just believe in parties.
If you are not screwed up in the head in some type of way, the chances of us being really close friends are slim.
why have a guy with a six pack, when the guy with a keg brings the most fun?
A beer bottle may not be shaped like a Boomerang but it still comes back to me every weekend :-D ;-) :-)
I really refuse to marry a white woman now. I need to marry someone that when they kill me they get at least a lil jail time.
relationship without trust is like a car without gas. you can stay in it as long as you want but it won't go anywhere
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