Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Don't worry, I got your back. And your ass. And a little in your hair too.
←Rate | 06-08-2014 10:40 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto word of the Day: DISAPPOINTMENT. Usage: My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gonna throw my ass back in jail.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!
←Rate | 12-02-2011 22:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi, Faithbook! - Mike Tyson
←Rate | 04-03-2012 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to those in America who still have faith in, and who resoundingly support Hillary Clinton. I applaud all 3 of yall :)
←Rate | 10-10-2016 12:16 Comments (1)  


   messageicon its so hot, I just saw a bird blow a worm before it ate it
←Rate | 07-08-2010 16:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time's running out if you want a chance at a Christmas / New Year baby.. I'm free for the next couple nights..
←Rate | 04-01-2010 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [this comment has been removed due to legal action by the Church of Scientology]
←Rate | 02-20-2009 13:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl's moan is the sexiest sound, ever.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
←Rate | 08-28-2011 09:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 10:52 by brandie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think people like the hugs I dish out. They say its weird during mid hug when I whisper in their ear..."Just relax and spread that hug all over me".
←Rate | 02-24-2011 03:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two tips for faster jogging (1) hot guy in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you
←Rate | 03-27-2011 23:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking a looooooong time to get up today. I think If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.
←Rate | 03-30-2011 09:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe in neither the Democratic party nor the Republican party. I just believe in parties.
←Rate | 04-07-2011 16:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are not screwed up in the head in some type of way, the chances of us being really close friends are slim.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 22:01 by RCPSKC_Brian Comments (0)  


   messageicon why have a guy with a six pack, when the guy with a keg brings the most fun?
←Rate | 09-15-2011 17:27 by challenger srt8 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A beer bottle may not be shaped like a Boomerang but it still comes back to me every weekend :-D ;-) :-)
←Rate | 07-02-2011 01:02 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really refuse to marry a white woman now. I need to marry someone that when they kill me they get at least a lil jail time.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 15:27 by @DesignsByQPid Comments (0)  


   messageicon relationship without trust is like a car without gas. you can stay in it as long as you want but it won't go anywhere
←Rate | 07-25-2011 20:51 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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