Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I'm all for saving the planet, but recycling jokes doesn't help...
←Rate | 02-01-2013 20:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need hospital etiquette advice here guys. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?
←Rate | 09-28-2012 05:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Occasionally, I like to go to walmart, buy a jar of Vaseline, a cucumber and a Bottle of Gin and wink at the cashier
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle.
←Rate | 03-31-2013 21:52 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!
←Rate | 05-03-2013 21:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Regardless of the results of today's election, I think we can all agree Ann Coulter will say something really stupid about it.
←Rate | 11-06-2012 14:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if black people have been gold this whole time???
←Rate | 03-02-2015 12:08 by scooter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t understand why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That’s why I’m here.
←Rate | 06-08-2015 13:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, come on.. Who among us hasn't checked African American on an application?
←Rate | 06-16-2015 21:33 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Wow, this relationship is really rocky. I bet a wedding and baby will solve everything!” - Women logic.
←Rate | 03-13-2014 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Polish Olympian won a a gold medal for the speed skating. He's going to have it bronzed.
←Rate | 02-16-2014 10:01 by Sudz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 10:11 by Jack H Comments (0)  


   messageicon now enemies with you and 5 other people.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 11:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says a lot of Democrats are standing behind Congressman Weiner, not because they support his cause, they are simply afraid what would happen to them if they stood in front him.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 01:04 by Darth Ral Comments (0)  


   messageicon got a phone call asking to donate clothes for the starving people of the world..I laughed so hard I cried..if they can fit in my clothes they ain't starvin'!
←Rate | 05-05-2011 10:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her legs spread so easily...I can't believe its not butter...
←Rate | 09-29-2011 20:54 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you go big, you'll never go twig!
←Rate | 08-31-2011 14:08 by JennyJenny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
←Rate | 04-23-2012 21:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched a clip of Jersey Shore... Now my eye's have chlamydia.
←Rate | 03-05-2012 12:23 by bfinest Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But they also say revenge is sweet. I think they are trying to say revenge is ice cream.
←Rate | 03-05-2012 23:26 by Zinc Comments (0)  



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