Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Disney World : A people's trap operated by a mouse.

   I should really stop confusing sign language for kung-fu.

   its not Christmas time yet and Starbucks is holiday happy. We still have to get though thanksgiving people.

   hears there may not be any football in 2011, and would like to thank the Dallas Cowboys for preparing us with no football in 2010.

   There r 3 kinds of people in this world.Ones who make things happen,Ones who watch things happen,And ones who wonder what the hell just happened!!!

   looking back those D.A.R.E classes were really a waste of time

   So, I saw a can of Lysol that was "original" scent. What the heck does "original" smell like??

   Why do we protect movie ticket nerds behind 4inches of glass and a bank teller with only a pen on a chain?

   My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He’s mad now.

   My wife spilled iced coffee in her lap and asked if I’d like some pumpkin spice twatte.

   To all of you Hill@ry supporters out there ..... It might be important to note that Wikileaks has NEVER had to retract even a single story for False Information ..... Period. In short ... They are all true.

   People go on and on about the length of Subway's sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?

   I planned on being productive today, then the voice in my head laughed and laughed and we took a nap.

   I'm hungry,, but the only thing in my fridge is Zuul.

   Fellas; There's no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.

   My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."

   I like pressing F5. It's so refreshing.

   I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square,,,, much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

   I mistook the Facebook status box for Google search, and now I don’t have to go to family functions any more.

   Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.