Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Oh great....now we get to look at a ton of photos of the moon on facebook.

   Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bit¢h breathing out of her nose like she owns the oxygen here."

   New "Shots" Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone's face.

   Happy Independence Day! Our founding fathers fought hard to give us the freedom to blow shit up...... Make them proud!!!

   What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?

   Red Cross taking donations for disaster relief...... Text "Irish"

   Every morning you have two choices: be productive and really shine, OR pour some coffee, log inn and start posting. Hello, darlings.

   Maybe I should be Tony Romo for Halloween so kids can intercept candy that I pass out.

   .... HECK ... You know there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with this country when people are much more concerned with a few repeated words from a possible First Lady... than ..... 30,000 Deleted Classified Emails from a Major Presidential Candidate!!!

   What is it with lesbians? If they hate men so much, why do they dress like them? You never see a Jew dressed as a Nazi.

   Tom Brady is a 3-time Super Bowl Champ & bangs a supermodel. Tim Tebow is a virgin bench-warmer...I think we know who God likes better.

   Taylor Swift just waved at a boy and he didn't wave back so now she's got a new album coming out tomorrow.

   I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved winning 7 Tour De France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.

   My girlfriend just walked in and called me g@y. If my nails weren't drying I swear to god…

   Shout out to all the Amish people reading this status..........................BUSTED

   Being a gentleman never goes out of style

   Only 364 shopping days till Christmas..

   If you love me, let me know. If not, please take the $20 and finish the job.

   trying to figure out how to use the three seashells.

   - Ladies, you have Feb. 14th (Valentine's Day) - Not to worry Men, we have March 14th...If you don't know what March 14th is, Google it :)