Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon What do we want?!? GOOD DECISIONS!!!!! When do we want them?!? BEFORE LAST NIGHT!!!!
←Rate | 03-20-2015 15:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
←Rate | 06-18-2014 11:53 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mary Poppins was just called Mary before she got into breakdancing.
←Rate | 08-15-2014 14:54 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Josh Shaw now claiming he broke his ankles keeping looters out of his grandmother's Bakery in Ferguson...
←Rate | 08-28-2014 12:10 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to smoke a joint with some Mexicans. I asked if any of them had papers and the all ran away.
←Rate | 04-03-2016 20:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's an absolute proven FACT that Criminals commit a lot less crime .... After they've been shot!
←Rate | 05-10-2016 22:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've outsourced my LIKES, Birthday wishes and comments on your post and pics to a firm in India. So if Sanjay isn't showing you enough love, please let me know right away.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 09:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cat likes to scratch on a wicker chair. She likely thinks it's her guitar. I sing along because I don't want her to feel stupid.
←Rate | 06-24-2015 11:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought AshleyMadison was the bakery that made Zingers... Didn't they used to sponsor Charlie Brown specials?
←Rate | 07-22-2015 21:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: We need to talk Me: how do you keep getting that duct tape off?
←Rate | 08-21-2015 18:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we only crave what's bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I'd kill for some salad."
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
←Rate | 12-06-2015 19:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has anyone ever noticed that Caitlin Jenner has man hands?
←Rate | 12-20-2015 18:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good thing my drug dealer delivers rain, sleet or government shutdown......
←Rate | 09-30-2013 17:51 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriends husband doesn't like me.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 19:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl's phone and saw that my number was saved as FREE FOOD.
←Rate | 02-23-2014 10:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Monday. I'm refreshed and ready to hate my Job
←Rate | 03-02-2014 16:22 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will not be composing any quality p osts today. So just keep scrolling.
←Rate | 04-04-2014 10:36 Comments (0)  



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