Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Here's hoping the wind at your back doesn't come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

   Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting,,, Was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose.

   At lunch, I thought the meat at Taco Bell was green for St. Patrick's Day,,, but I am now second guessing that assumption.

   Everybody in the rap game are either Big or Lil', leaving a ferociously untapped "medium" market.

   Only fools fall in love, so today's the day!

   Never trust a Chia Pet.....don't ask.

   Technically they're not prostitutes if you refuse to pay them.

   If you think your cat loves you, just remember it would probably yawn and go to sleep while watching you getting murdered with a rake

   You guys can make all your Manti jokes, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that somebody who never existed is dead.

   A shout out to all of the beautiful women who don't need to dress trashy to attract a man..... But party at my place for all those who do

   The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.

   The Lakers fired Mike Brown They should now Hire Stan Van Gundy just to see Dwight Howards face.

   Fortune Cookie: Woman who go fishing with six men...go home with red snapper.

   Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.

   It's science. It's meant to confuse stupid people

   Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and some b itch will tell him he's doing it wrong.

   okay...so Harlem Shake is not a rich Arab!!!

   Interest in the Bermuda Triangle disappeared. Seems suspicious.

   facebook should have an "I've seen enough" button.

   I wonder if Medusa ever just relaxed and put her snakes back in a ponytail?