Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?

   World Cup Finals... Its Heineken vs. Sangria. screw it, lets get drunk!

   Why hasn't anyone invented alcohol that acts as birth control too?

   When you have a cat....you never poop alone.

   I swear ugly people find love faster.

   I was at Home Depot looking to get a doorknob so I asked a girl to help me. She said she was a "knob specialist" and now I'm with security.

   Stop undressing me with your eyes...use your teeth

   NJ Gov Christie has cancelled Halloween… people are being asked to send any previously purchased Candy to the Office of the Governor.

   apparently my new girlfriends natural hair color is bald...

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with!

   Woke up again today. When will it stop?

   Women! They assume everything but the position.

   I love you more than I hate everyone else.

   There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.

   Justin Timberlake's grown a beard. We get it, Justin. You're edgy. Now get back to writing songs about how a girl made you cry

   I wish they would quit interupting the commercials with this lame football game!

   mexican word for the day: "Herpes". Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.

   It's like my Fantasy Football players aren't listening to a single word of the speech I gave to my TV.

   I'm sorry, I don't find you arousing. No hard feelings.

   canceling my subscription!! I'm tired of your issues.