Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   treat everyone as you would like to be treated... except in bed, "that" could be illegal in some countries or religions!

   "just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. "

   Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

   loves long walks...especially when taken by people who annoy me.

   As a man, it scares the hell out of me that North Korea has a missile called the "no dong."

   Books, like friends, should be few, and well chosen.

   playin twister with a colorblind midget stripper called rainbow

   laying in bed, looking up at the stars in the sky and thinking- where the F%$K is my ceiling?

   Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning "bad hunter."

   The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

   Always believe a woman when she says, "You don't want to know!"

   Thinking they need to make pro football and basketball coaches wear uniforms like baseball coaches do.

   I don't have a dog, I eat my own homework.

   What a good morning!* *Facebook status update may or may not contain BS.

   i hear hell is hot this time of year..

   This is no ordinary silly grin on my face, it's an educated one.

   BP announced today that the oil in the Gulf needs to be changed every six months

   Six different television shows about cake and not a single one about milk. I sense opportunity!

   "I've just about had it with you using up all my patience!"

   It's not even 10 o'clock and I've already used up all my "give a crap" for the day.