Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

   It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. #GeorgeCarlin

   Why is the Queen dressed like the guy who owned Curious George?

   Apocalypse Tip: When you become a Zombie, stay clear of Washington D.C, no brains will be found there.

   So me && grandma go for a joy ride and I turn on the radio, she says" who in the devil is this?" I replyed Grandma, his name is 50 cent, she then said " well I'll give him a dollar to shut up!"

   I'm opening a shelter for battered onion rings.

   It's not considered a "mood" if you're always in it. At that point, it's just YOU being a D-BAG!

   Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old

   American presidents: ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☻

   “She ain't you" is by far Chris Brown's best hit since Rihanna.

   What do you think the employee discount is at the Dollar Store? Do you think it's 'just take it'?

   You know.... I have gotten some really great bathroom decorating tips from Facebook.

   If you start your day on a positive note, more than likely it will end in harmony..

   Wow.... There really is one born every minute.

   With the fuel prices as high as they are, I'm going to be BAD this year and hope Santa brings me COAL!!!

   I absolutely hate when people pull onto a highway goin 5mph! Don't be surprised when you have a Ford symbol embedded in the back of your trunk a$$hole!

   so we took a poll. and just as I suspected, nobody likes you

   My life wasn't complete until I met you,,,,,,, You COMPLETELY ruined it. Thanks...

   Dear fake profile with bikini pics that just friend requested me: 1. I have a great memory for hot chicks; I don't know you. 2. 52 of our "mutual friends" are idiots. 3.They're all guys......color me surprised.

   The only people who still leave voicemail messages are bill collectors and moms.