Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Whats the differentce between A Jersey girl and a piece of trash? People pick up trash.
←Rate | 01-21-2011 14:57 by ME Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey status messages auto correct, stop tampering with my swear words, you mother forklift.
←Rate | 11-20-2011 23:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you support open borders, then you should be fine with them living in your spare bedroom.
←Rate | 07-10-2018 13:18 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Well it's almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
←Rate | 12-27-2013 14:50 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it's your day off.
←Rate | 05-17-2013 19:44 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much will the $590 million Powerball winner pay in taxes? The IRS says they won't know until they learn if she's a Republican or a Democrat.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 03:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Major blackout in India....looks like everybody who needs tech support is screwed.
←Rate | 07-30-2012 07:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not even my closest friends know me as well as my internet history does.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 05:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pharmaceutical Generics: Tylenol=acetamophen, Aleve=naproxen, Advil=ibuprofen. Viagara=mycoxafloppin.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 19:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care how comfortable crocs are, you look like a dumbass
←Rate | 03-30-2010 16:14 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  


   messageicon So much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist
←Rate | 12-11-2010 17:23 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Random thought of the day: If someone threw a rock and knocked you off your donkey, would you be stoned off your ass?
←Rate | 04-17-2010 11:13 by ANGELA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook Commandment III: Thou shall not set thy profile pic as some hot celebrity even if thou looketh like an ugly mongoose
←Rate | 02-07-2011 22:03 by rtw Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife tried to buy something online yesterday.... Anyone know how to get a credit card out of a floppy drive?
←Rate | 08-30-2011 00:22 by WhiplashWally Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like a good Neighbor, Stay over there.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 14:17 by @PrinceAlbert777 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Pill, the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:35 by kevko Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how many times that fat kid on Adam's Family locked himself in the bathroom with a playboy and that freaky hand thing?!?!
←Rate | 05-14-2012 06:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
←Rate | 04-26-2014 17:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to throw hostesses off by shooting back at them with, "Do I look Native American?" after they ask me if I have a reservation.
←Rate | 06-05-2014 19:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have to believe in a book to be a nice person and treat people right.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 10:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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