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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Whats the differentce between A Jersey girl and a piece of trash? People pick up trash.
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01-21-2011 14:57 by
ME
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Hey status messages auto correct, stop tampering with my swear words, you mother forklift.
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11-20-2011 23:33
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If you support open borders, then you should be fine with them living in your spare bedroom.
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07-10-2018 13:18
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Well it's almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
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12-27-2013 14:50 by
Lil-David
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The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it's your day off.
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05-17-2013 19:44 by
HiYourJon
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How much will the $590 million Powerball winner pay in taxes? The IRS says they won't know until they learn if she's a Republican or a Democrat.
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06-06-2013 03:04
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Major blackout in India....looks like everybody who needs tech support is screwed.
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07-30-2012 07:54 by
K-Mac
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Not even my closest friends know me as well as my internet history does.
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08-13-2011 05:39 by
Marshall the Great
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Pharmaceutical Generics: Tylenol=acetamophen, Aleve=naproxen, Advil=ibuprofen. Viagara=mycoxafloppin.
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09-14-2011 19:16 by
Mick F
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I don't care how comfortable crocs are, you look like a dumbass
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03-30-2010 16:14 by
Samir Momin
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So much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist
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12-11-2010 17:23 by
@Jimboleem
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Random thought of the day: If someone threw a rock and knocked you off your donkey, would you be stoned off your ass?
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04-17-2010 11:13 by
ANGELA
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Facebook Commandment III: Thou shall not set thy profile pic as some hot celebrity even if thou looketh like an ugly mongoose
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02-07-2011 22:03 by
rtw
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My wife tried to buy something online yesterday.... Anyone know how to get a credit card out of a floppy drive?
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08-30-2011 00:22 by
WhiplashWally
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Like a good Neighbor, Stay over there.
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03-18-2012 14:17 by
@PrinceAlbert777
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The Pill, the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
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11-17-2011 12:35 by
kevko
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I wonder how many times that fat kid on Adam's Family locked himself in the bathroom with a playboy and that freaky hand thing?!?!
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05-14-2012 06:36 by
Marshall the Great
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To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
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04-26-2014 17:04
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I like to throw hostesses off by shooting back at them with, "Do I look Native American?" after they ask me if I have a reservation.
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06-05-2014 19:10 by
snotty
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You don't have to believe in a book to be a nice person and treat people right.
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04-20-2014 10:58 by
Kisstopher707
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