Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Some days I just feel like the token black guy.

   I dare you to wink as much in real life as you do on online.

   Levi Johnston is part native, he just took back his apology to Palin

   Spellcheck? I just type the words into the Google Toolbar and see if it corrects me.

   Why do people lie when getting a gift by saying "Oh You didn't have to do that" HELLO! Thats the only reason they where invited!

   I always wanted to read other people's minds, well now there's facebook where everyone just thinks out loud. Thank you facebook, the future is here.

   "Nice Beaver." Simple, yet effective. RIP Leslie Nielsen. Your classic comedy movies will continue to make us laugh.

   I get lonely sometimes so I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

   wonders if Cash4Gold would give me money for a bottle of Goldschlager!

   that if you were pots and pans, he'd bang you on New Year's Eve.

   Why is my flashlight always a case for holding dead batteries....

   Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook.

   glad that we have today to appreciate such great Presidents as Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, Benjamin Harrison, Rutherford Hayes, and of course... Warren G. Harding.

   Girlfriends are like wildcats.....they can't be housebroken and they can smell that stripper perfume from a mile away!

   "Hey, yall watch this sh*t." is always followed by an emergency room visit at my family reunion.

   n't it strange how so many Media and Journalism Outlets are condemning Wikileaks for doing just what Journalists used to do?

   it possible to start the impeachment process before anyone even wins the election?

   Army Navy game. The only game where all the members of both teams have sworn an oath to lay down their lives for the spectators.

   Bill Clinton is the only Democrat who is happy right now because it wasn't his Wiener that got Hillary in trouble

   [grocery produce aisle]... ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots?.. CLERK: No, why do you ask?... CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?