Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Stop crying. You asked what I thought of your haircut and "macho" is a compliment where I come from, lady...
←Rate | 05-22-2010 14:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook Introduces New Oil Drilling Game, Spillville
←Rate | 06-13-2010 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laugh…and the world laughs with you. Laugh hysterically, for no apparent reason, and they'll leave you alone.
←Rate | 09-24-2009 13:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't understand you.... I don't speak fluent bullsh!t
←Rate | 01-26-2010 11:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye and Kim finally break up - does that automatically put her back on the Black market? Asking for Lil Wayne.
←Rate | 04-14-2013 11:51 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon a man was just arrested for having sex with a woman in exchange for food. He was charged with dating.
←Rate | 04-17-2013 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All these tornados need to aim better ---------> Westboro Baptist Church
←Rate | 05-07-2013 11:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vibrating tampons could cure the world of PMS.
←Rate | 06-18-2013 23:15 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I love tan lines... it's like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
←Rate | 03-26-2013 17:42 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanted to smoke weed with this cute Mexican girl I work with today. But when I asked her if she had papers, she took off sprinting.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do some people just wake up one day and think, "I already have 2 bumper stickers, why not 70?"
←Rate | 04-02-2013 02:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c unt.
←Rate | 09-15-2012 09:46 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Being single at this time is not based on my wanting freedom to do what I want....It's more due to the fact that I want the freedom to not have to do what someone else wants.
←Rate | 09-17-2012 09:32 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drank like 3 Four Lokos and some hand sanitizer last night, blacked out and apparently officiated a Monday Night Football game.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 04:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
←Rate | 10-03-2012 06:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon One poll out this morning declares Bidens Dentist was the winner in last nights debate
←Rate | 10-12-2012 06:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me know when you're off your Man-Period!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 08:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (1)  


   messageicon Glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.
←Rate | 08-30-2012 19:39 by @cdrizzzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people are going to hell, no doubt...but some of you will be used as firewood.
←Rate | 01-21-2013 08:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So thankful for Facebook! Otherwise I would have to call 563 people every morning to let them know that I just ate breakfast
←Rate | 01-22-2013 05:52 Comments (1)  



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