Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Just phished Forest Gump's Facebook password, it's: 1Forest1
←Rate | 07-02-2012 20:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aaron Hernandez is going to jail as a Tight End and will leave jail as a Wide Receiver
←Rate | 06-26-2013 11:19 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a newscaster says; "I am live at the scene with a person who witnessed the accident," what they really mean is; "Check out this douchetard we found at the scene of this crash."
←Rate | 08-13-2013 16:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just bought my " I survived black history month" T-shirt
←Rate | 03-01-2013 00:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doggy style, because sometimes you both just like the same tv show.
←Rate | 07-17-2012 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently the NFL replacement Refs now work as tape-delay guys at Fox News....
←Rate | 09-28-2012 18:03 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
←Rate | 05-01-2013 21:36 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Washington Redskins will now be known just as the Redskins because many people find the word "Washington" offensive.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ugh. New Year's Eve is just around the corner and I STILL haven't picked out which gang sign I'm going to hold up in photos
←Rate | 12-30-2013 07:18 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon People complain about voters making bad decisions but what else would you expect from a nation with 7 successful cupcake-based reality shows
←Rate | 11-08-2014 05:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t dance like no one is watching, dance like someone is watching and about to slide a twenty dollar bill into your neon thong.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
←Rate | 07-21-2014 23:04 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon In case you weren't paying attention, the REAL reason Eric Holder resigned is to prepare for the 2016 presidential campaign. He'll be running as Anthony Weiner's VP candidate on the Weiner-Holder ticket....
←Rate | 09-28-2014 18:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anybody know the expiration on whoop-ass? I opened a can last week and I’m not sure if it’s still good.
←Rate | 12-28-2013 15:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suspect my gravestone will have a pretty serious urine discoloration not long after I'm gone.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 21:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just picked some lettuce out a sandwich and then added a cheese slice. If anyone wants the recipe, let me know.
←Rate | 02-15-2015 17:03 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two yrs ago I weighed 296lbs. Today I weigh 293lbs. Hard work makes dreams come true, folks.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 15:08 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is it when there are 2 girls in a profile picture it always belongs to the uglier of the two?
←Rate | 04-15-2014 15:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
←Rate | 05-06-2014 13:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  



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