Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.

   We would like to thank the NY Giants for their participation in the 2013 NFL season. Please pick up your consolation prize at the door on your way out. Thank you

   I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.

   Its not stretching if it doesn't involve crazy dinosaur noises.

   This Facebook is really cutting into my other time wasting activities.

   Sometimes it is best not to talk unless you can improve on the silence.

   Sorry I roasted marshmallows over your meltdown.

   I like people the most when I'm by myself.

   Zero hits on the Monster.com post for Director of tourism-City of Ferguson.

   Taylor Swifts "Shake it Off" is about what her lovers did when they realized she was bad in bed.

   Today's yoga position is called "the underpaid employee"... It involves bending over and kissing ass at the same time.

   it's my sons third birthday tomorrow... Due to budget constraints we're not gonna tell him!!!!

   Almost 60,000 people from Glastonbury area sign petition asking Glastonbury Festival planners to cancel Kanye West performance. The citizen's petition states "Beyonce would be better"

   thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I've done a lot of "marathons"

   I guess everyone can stop pretending that they are interested in boxing

   OK. So who else has a wife who says "Honey, will you taste this milk to see if it isn't spoiled?"

   .... You are entitled to NOTHING .... If you want something ..... Go out and EARN IT!!!!

   I hate when the Doctor asks awkward questions. "Are you sexually active?" Depends on what you mean by "active". There are plenty of "active" volcanoes that haven't erupted in over 40 years.

   Remember: No matter what anyone tells you, you are not worthless. Organs go for a lot of money on the black market.

   You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.