Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Direct deposit $1400: me at the dollar tree. Where the $2 stuff at?
←Rate | 03-15-2021 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to find the differences between an Oompa-Loompa and Snooki... gotta be the hair!!!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 12:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I live every day of my life as if it's my last. Basically I just leap in slow motion away from things which aren't exploding... Repeatedly.
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Some people say that one's personality is reflected off of their car... Well, I have no car."
←Rate | 02-02-2010 20:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks to err is human but to blame it on someone else... now that's supervisor material!
←Rate | 02-26-2010 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon True happiness is getting that load off...your shoulders
←Rate | 03-30-2010 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never going to grow up. I'm just going to stop hiding what I do from my parents and start hiding it from my kids.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:54 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to television, I now believe that all janitorial and supply closets in hospitals are being occupied at all times by people having sex.
←Rate | 09-02-2010 06:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, I see you're playing hard to get... I'm gonna play walk away.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 06:44 by @TeeWuu86 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a great massage the other day, but I think I confused my masseuse by asking her for an "ambiguous, european-cinema-style ending."
←Rate | 10-01-2010 17:34 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think many people look at others facebook's and judge them off what they see or what was said, I dont because thatd be pathetic. But if youre out there, hi. :)
←Rate | 07-08-2010 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon he really wants to control the television remotely but is unable to locate the device that fulfills that desire.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 08:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you think its time for Life Alert to update their commercials.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 15:56 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know people who say they don't want to be on Facebook because they don't want to read what people are having for lunch? Screw them, I'm eating a sandwich.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 16:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, really, I'm laughing with you. Well, I will once I can find the time to stop laughing at you.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 16:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 23:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to Prehab... On the off chance that I get addictions...
←Rate | 04-19-2010 22:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon By the time you can afford a high definition television you no longer have the high definition eyesight necessary to enjoy it.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 15:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon will resist peer pressure. All the cool kids are doing it...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:43 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What other people think of you is none of your business.
←Rate | 05-11-2010 09:40 Comments (0)  



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