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a married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy 
it just me or doesn't anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
For $5 you can either get your girl approximately 2 flowers from a florist OR you can get her an ENTIRE costco rotisserie chicken. that’s all I'm sayin. the choice is yours
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.
Are the double maskers going to start yelling at the single maskers?
Red flag laws sound great until you realize you’re labeled crazy for thinking 5-year-olds shouldn’t attend drag shows.
Why is it that people who are the loudest about demanding respect are the ones who have done the least to earn it?
Sociopath: The Sociopath will always accuse you of doing the very thing that they are Guilty of. They do this to deflect attention from themselves.
how do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
WOW! I can't believe the Guard who was guarding Jeffery Epstein was killed in an automobile accident - Tomorrow or Monday!
I was at the grocery store in the flower department and this guy picking out his own flowers said to me “It’s so crazy that you have to spend so much money on something that’s just gonna die” to which I replied “And you gotta buy them flowers”
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
A small *ATM room* which is equipped with *2 ACs* and *4 tubelights, working 24 hours, is asking me not to print receipt to save environment
If I die, don’t let me vote for Biden.
If you put the words "Let's see who reads this" at the beginning of your post it virtually guarantees that I won't.
I hate when we go on a weekend trip and my wife forgets to pack her vagina.
Some fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." Others begin with "If elected, I promise..."
Just got my first shot and going to get another one just as soon as I can get the waitresses attention.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids. 