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I wonder if the spouses of umpires get thrown out of the house for arguing. 
It's weird how you can listen to a song, and it brings you back to a time and place you want to forget. Yet you miss it at the same time.
There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.
Happy Thursday to all my married friends.
I have OCD and ADD. Which means everything has to be perfect, but not for very long.
Facebook: A place where someone will send you endless invites to play games, but won't invite you to their party.
Seemed to cruel to get my dog fixed. So instead I got him a really crappy haircut. And now he can't even get a date.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don’t, raise your standards.
To really scare Kim Jon Umm the U.S. should station a Carnival cruise ship off the sea of North Korea
I'm not really anti abortion, I'm more pro stupid people not having babies...
can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.
I don't know who's apartment I stayed at last night, but I just showered here and their shampoo is PHENOMINAL.
wonders why who jog regularly cannot get through the day without telling someone how far they ran? Notice they have to sneak it into the conversation or they'll burst
resisting the new profile page.. Read the signs people! Today, your profile page.. tomorrow the world!
would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.
Someday we will be wheeling down the hall in that nursing home trying to have a race until the assistants come and take us to where we should have been
OK, I just throughly cleaned out my truck from being on the road for 2 months working. What did I learn: 1) I should lay off the dollar menu 2) If TV series Hoarders, did a car edition they would ask me to star and 3) I am now getting 7 mpg more with all
Shhhhhhhhhh....you had me at, "..$20 does include the spanking.."
When I was young, we had to walk outside to find out what the weather was like 