Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Son: Mom, what does “woke” mean? Mom: It’s a parents shocking realization that her kids are being taught extremist bull-crap.

   Elon Musk spent 44 billion sending woke narcissists into a spiral of depression and honestly, it was money well spent.

   Kids today are soft, I died once when I was five and my mom made me walk it off.

   Gavin Newsome savagely mocked for claiming men can’t get pregnant.

   If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.

   A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

   Regular unleaded: Willie Nelson, Plus unleaded: Snoop Dog, Supreme unleaded: Hunter Biden

   Don’t forget to feed your girlfriend every couple of hours or it gets cranky.

   If you watch my life backwards, I’m a weight watchers success story.

   Welcome to Oregon, tampons are in every boy’s bathrooms.

   You don’t need drugs to get high when you’ve got a 42-foot articulated bucket truck.

   Gas prices hit a new record high and Biden cancelled lease sales for oil and gas on more than a million acres on the same day.

   Kamala Harris sounds like an 8 year old that didn’t read the book, but is trying to give a book report based solely on the cover.

   Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.

   Does anyone know how long you can put chicken in the freezer? I put one in last night and it was dead this morning.

   If you’re shorter than 4 foot your pronouns are, eeny-meeny-miny-moe.

   If you’re taller than 6 foot, your pronouns are fi-fi-fo-fum.

   If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

   Accomplishing the impossible means the boss will add it to your regular duties.

   I follow the call of the disco ball.