Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone's ok with that.

   Breaking News!!! It is okay to "NOT" get in a debate on a Facebook status if you really have no idea what you are talking about. You can just move on to a cat picture or something you understand and comment on that..

   Every minute Justin Bieber is held in jail is a victory for good music.

   You can't run from your problems forever. Eventually, you'll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.

   it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson's by 2011?

   Did you know 25% of car accidents in canada involve a moose.I say we don't let them drive

   Friends don't tag friends in hideous Facebook pictures.

   Thanks, confirmation email telling me I've successfully unsubscribed from your emails. You just had to win didn't you?

   If people insist on acting like an idiot, I must insist on treating them like one.

   Next time the bank calls me to tell me I'm overdrawn, I'm gonna tell them, "We are aware of the situation and are working to repair it."

   You can almost pass a lie detector test if you answer every question with "go fish."

   i dont have trust issues, I just know people who have lying issues

   If I had a penny for every time I thought of you.... I'd have a penny.

   The only thing left for me to do is to walk on water, and even at that some people would snicker and say, 'What, you can't swim?"

   I'd probably get a lot more done if it wasn't for me.

   Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!

   it takes me five minutes to get dressed and fifty-five minutes looking for my other shoe....

   someday I'll sit down with my grandchildren to watch "Airplane" and they'll say, "I can't believe they used to just let people get on planes"

   expecting life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge at you because you're a vegetarian.

   There are only two people I trust in this world... One is myself, and the other one is NOT you.