Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
The most craziest thing happened to me today...a snowman came up to me and said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Unbelievable right!?! My birthday is clearly in September! Stupid snowmen.... 
Does not set out to shock or offend anyone, but also does not do anything to prevent it.
Arkansas forecast for tomorrow ...3 inches of birds
someday everything will all make sense
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Sorry I burst into uncontrollable laughter at something you didn't remotely intend to be funny
Was I the only one creeped out by watching, "The Time Travelers Wife"??? Nude adult male in the woods.....Six year old girl??? Just a little weird for a movie.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
-- Magazine collectors, they have a lot of issues....
has decided not to call them BRAs from now on and instead refer to them as BOOBIE TRAPS! coz it just sounds more fun to say
gave a pint of blood today... too bad it was at the dentist's office
You ever see a van so creepy it feels like the guy actually said "rape-van" when the car salesman asked him what he was looking for?
"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Okay has anyone ever stopped to think how pissed of, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be once released from the barrel?
I finally got my wireless internet to work...this is the best thing to happen to me since the negative pregnancy test...
i have no problem sacrificing for friends......... but it is hard to find a virgin and suitable altar
My transformation into a baby seal is almost complete.
According to my horoscope, I'm going to get rich today. According to my Youtube comments, I'm a "douche." Life is confusing.
I think the cinema should give you an extra "Previews Popcorn" when you buy a "Movie Popcorn"
Remember when I loved you unconditionally? Well the terms of that arrangement have changed.
Maybe instead of running your mouth you should try jogging a few miles to sweat that hatred out. 