Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
ATTENTION: Due to BBQ setbacks, my ripped beach body Will be postponed another year.
Thank you for understanding. 
I just cleaned my house by turning off the lights.
I’m going as Alexa for Halloween this year and answering every question with, “Sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you right now.”
I wonder if the guy who coined the term "One Hit Wonder" came up with any other phrases.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
Honk if you are flying south for the winter in a V formation.
Politician: someone who only opens their mouth to change feet.
Can you put tequila in a humidifier? Just asking for a friend.
I'm having a terrible day. There's a suppository behind my ear and I can't find my pencil.
So how does this work? Do we send our dollar bills to the NFL or do we pay JLo directly?
Whoever this guy with TDS is, it's hysterical that he's perpetually beside himself with no one ever agreeing with him. I guess mommy and daddy let him have his way and he just can't deal with the rejection.
The Coronavirus is like pasta. The Chinese invented it, but the Italians are spreading it all over the world.
My husband said the doctor told him I can suck out his kidney stone. After 3 days of trying, I think he lied to me.
tested positive for missing my homies
How long are we supposed to do this social distancing thing? My wife keeps trying to get back into the house.
For the first time since 1945, the Scripps National Spelling Bee has been cancul... cancill... cansi... called off.
Neighbor's python just swallowed my Paula Abdul CD. He's a cold hearted snake.
Dear YouTube: Please just assume that I'd like to "skip ad". You don't need to ask anymore.
If I had known the kind of people my classmates would grow up to be. I would have beaten a lot more of them up.
Saw a monarch butterfly today, what made it special is that it was the first time it wasn't stamped on top of a strippers arse.
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
