Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Monica Lewinsky has launched her new 'patriotic' theme designer dresses...they are available in red, white and blew
←Rate | 09-16-2017 14:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Notice when you call a 1-800 techical support number you get an assistance operator in India? Wonder when a person in India call for technical support if they get an amercian operator.
←Rate | 09-17-2017 15:15 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon I'm guessing an appropriate term for those pics women take of their own rear-ends could be labeled as "smellfies."
←Rate | 09-23-2017 08:54 by MichaeltheItalian Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do Troubleshooting Guides always have a resolution for every problem except the one you are having?
←Rate | 02-02-2022 09:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 13:18 by M.Scott Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so ugly, when I play Mortal Combat, Scorpion tells me "Stay Over There!".
←Rate | 04-23-2018 01:41 by ClarkKent Comments (3)  


   messageicon does anyone remember when lol meant “laughing out loud” instead of “this is to indicate that this brief text isnt hostile”
←Rate | 04-23-2018 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want me to leave my house I need three days notice.
←Rate | 04-27-2018 00:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol...because people annoy me but I'm also lonely
←Rate | 04-27-2018 00:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personal care products for men: This bottle contains body gel, shampoo, conditioner and moisterizer. For women: This bottle contains treatment for your left knee. For right knee products, check Aisle 7.
←Rate | 04-30-2018 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mint julep or tequila? Happy Kentucky de Mayo!!!
←Rate | 05-05-2018 10:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
←Rate | 05-13-2018 20:26 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
←Rate | 05-21-2018 07:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid my parents would say "You'll understand when you're older." Well now I'm older and I still don't understand.
←Rate | 05-25-2018 11:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up naked and sweaty and I didn’t even get laid.
←Rate | 07-01-2018 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ME: these fireworks are so quiet WIFE: those are palm trees
←Rate | 07-06-2018 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just sold a lawnmower on Craigslist...last time my neighbor will wake me up on a Saturday morning!
←Rate | 07-18-2018 20:11 by BobbyT Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad decision: Saying come in to a Jehovah Witness at your door.
←Rate | 07-22-2018 15:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why must we end rivers flowing into the pacific ocean?
←Rate | 08-07-2018 15:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
←Rate | 08-09-2018 10:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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