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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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They want us to think they're backpack leaf blowers but they're actually jetpacks... and THAT'S how they're getting across the border!
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10-08-2010 09:39 by
Mike M
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Mr. Officer, I am not drunk. You are just witnessing sobriety that hasn't returned yet.
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10-08-2010 09:23
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Single...but you're welcome to change that ;D
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10-08-2010 08:18
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The best thing in this status is when you realized that it mean nothing and it's too late to stop reading...
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10-08-2010 08:05 by
mmZZ41n
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When i'm good, i'm good. When i'm BAD, i'm the best!!!
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10-08-2010 08:03 by
mmZZ41n
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Bosses are like diapers, always full of s****t and usually on your a$$ (^-^)
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10-08-2010 06:52
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if you really were my friend, you would write a little note, but since you never do, I assume you never won't
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10-08-2010 03:03
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If I was rich, I'd do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
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10-08-2010 02:20 by
Aaron
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I start drinking earlier and earlier everyday... I had to set my alarm this morning.
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10-08-2010 02:06 by
Aaron
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I don't eat nuts at the bar. But I like to run my fingers through them and lick the salt off.
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10-08-2010 02:06 by
Aaron
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bankruptcy spelled with one "oh sh*t" or two?
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10-08-2010 02:04 by
Aaron
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going steal your CAPS lock & shift key if you don't stope YELLING...or unfriend you
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10-08-2010 01:18
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If us guys show support for Breast Cancer Awareness... How are the girls gonna should show support for the our Testicular Cancer Awareness month!
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10-08-2010 00:39 by
geez
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wish my boobs wouldn't slap my face while I run.
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10-08-2010 00:09
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I hate being bipolar... It's awsome!
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10-07-2010 23:51
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was riding the escalator the other day, and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half..
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10-07-2010 23:51 by
bert
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needs a warm fireplace for my morningwood.
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10-07-2010 23:46
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If you all know where you keep it, why are we always looking for the damn thing..
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10-07-2010 23:26
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if you don't quit your crying and complaining in your status updates, I'll give you something to really cry and complain about! Like posting that photo of you I lied about deleting for example.
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10-07-2010 23:25
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some people are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker!
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10-07-2010 23:06 by
txtnfool
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