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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Parents say alcohol is your enemy, God says love your enemy.......
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10-03-2010 21:58 by
BEGO
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You failed me when I needed you the most... stupid cell phone!!
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10-03-2010 21:56 by
BEGO
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I wish my homework was asexual, so it would do itself.
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10-03-2010 21:23
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When I was little I used to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up in bed, now I pass out on the sofa and wake up on the floor.
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10-03-2010 20:51 by
imru
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likes his women like he likes his whiskey...15 years old and mixed with coke
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10-03-2010 20:50
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Never apologised for what you feel it's like saying sorrry 4 being real!
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10-03-2010 20:27 by
Sweeetttie
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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10-03-2010 20:13 by
Wolfie
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I'm gonna check out The Social Network, except I'm not gonna actually watch the movie. I'm gonna just check out everybody while they are watching the movie.
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10-03-2010 19:35 by
geez
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I'm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can't get off the couch or I'll die.
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10-03-2010 17:46 by
Marshall the Great
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How are babies not self-consciousness of their thighs?
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10-03-2010 17:38 by
Marshall the Great
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Sometimes life just needs a good, hard CTRL ALT DELETE.
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10-03-2010 17:36 by
Marshall the Great
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1
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Of all the unsolved mysteries, I wonder why we must stop talking to be able to start peeing.
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10-03-2010 17:35 by
Marshall the Great
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Take a lesson from the weather. Learn to be talked about without responding.
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10-03-2010 17:33 by
Marshall the Great
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I recognize three out of the fifty ingredients listed here. This is food, right? I'll eat it, but I'll never understand it.
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10-03-2010 17:32 by
Marshall the Great
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The postage is outrageous on these mail order brides!
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10-03-2010 17:31 by
Marshall the Great
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"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
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10-03-2010 17:22 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I wonder how long I can keep telling my kids I'm gunna call Santa..
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10-03-2010 17:05 by
Wolf
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0
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waiting for the boring weekly "hating mondays" statuses...btw, I'm gathering mondays to throw at you!
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10-03-2010 16:26 by
Monday
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0
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Sign language: it's very handy.
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10-03-2010 16:07 by
Aaron
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0
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I have a new lease on life. Month to month. No utilities.
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10-03-2010 16:06 by
Aaron
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