Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that if you plug your nose and close your mouth, you can't hum? Try it.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a nickel for everytime someone asked if I was bad at math, I'd have 62 cents.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You sacrifice. You fight injustice. You think you're making a difference. Then you find out Snooki has a book deal.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes she had a theme song whenever she did something awesome.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"Username or Password Incorrect" Couldn't you just tell me which one?
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends…it's not rocket science.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:43 Comments (1)  


   messageicon will never understand rich people with messed up teeth.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been texting so much today that now I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon does not like taking surveys. Do you A) Agree B) Somewhat Agree C) Not Agree
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do what you love, and the money will follow, unless what you love is Facebook.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon does not call it lying down...I call it landscape mode.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had money to blow, I would hire two private investigators to follow each other.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Step 1: Go to Google. Step 2: Type “who's the cutest”. Step 3: Hit I'm Feeling Lucky. Step 4: Enjoy.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon had a dream that this woman was trying to kill me with a butcher knife...which makes me think the woman of my dreams is not someone I should be looking for.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:29 by jason Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your dog is the only one excited when you walk in the door from work even though you make 6 figures.......... you have failed conclusively!!!!!
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:17 by @TeeWuu86 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't wear a watch because I decide what time it is.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎654 women were admitted into the hospital, and 542 died with a heart attack! Now tell me who in the hell spreaded the rumor that I'm getting married? x(
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I threatened a man with a knife today. It was a bit silly really, he could have stabbed me.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 13:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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