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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Your bumper sticker claiming, "My Chocolate Lab is smarter than your Honor Student" appears to be false. I've never seen an Honor Student jump from an open car window and chase a squirrel through a busy intersection.
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10-28-2010 14:12
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when I was your age I lost my tooth, not my virginity
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10-28-2010 14:11 by
rockerch!ck
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My Nan has found a lump in each of her breasts. Turns out it was just her knees.
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10-28-2010 13:55 by
jimbo
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The kids next door challenged me to a water fight . . . I'm just poisting this while I wait for the kettle to boil
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10-28-2010 13:46 by
rockerch!ck
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if I ever wake up in a room full of people and a tape recorder that says, "Hello, I want to play a game," I'm going to be so mad!
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10-28-2010 13:41 by
rockerch!ck
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Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I'm typing this with my middle finger . . .
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10-28-2010 13:39 by
rockerch!ck
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Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone's bathroom looks like one mirror at a time
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10-28-2010 13:31 by
rockerch!ck
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4
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Then God made saturn. God liked saturn so he put a ring on it.
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10-28-2010 13:06 by
kmk4ever
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The Laker's championship rings were so huge that Justin Bieber was seen court-side wearing one as a choker.
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10-28-2010 12:20 by
Mike M
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I'm no longer addicted to carving jack-o-lanterns. All thanks to the pumpkin patch.
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10-28-2010 12:01 by
Aaron
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[:::] is trick-or-treating for Pop Tarts [:::]
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10-28-2010 11:21 by
mickeybruce
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Some people wait their entire life for their ship to come in, not realizing that they are standing in an airport..
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10-28-2010 11:07 by
The Piper
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dressing up as antoine dodson for halloween. hide yo kids hide yo wife...
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10-28-2010 09:36 by
digger
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CNN just reported "15 shot dead at carwash in Mexico", whoever the gunman was needs to be a sniper in the military, he shot everybody in the car
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10-28-2010 08:58
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I see ur playing hard to get, now watch me play walk away.
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10-28-2010 08:07 by
J-Blow
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Relastionships are like yard sales. They might look good from a distance but close up its just a bunch of crap you dont need
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10-28-2010 08:05 by
J-Blow
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Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
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10-28-2010 06:32 by
itsmyswag
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Today's productivity is brought to you by Nescafé and fox's biscuits
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10-28-2010 05:53 by
Timlet
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0
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How come when your wifes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy & say congratulations! But nobody rubs your balls and says good job!
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10-28-2010 05:47 by
de_one
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10
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What do you call an organic compound in which a hydroxyl is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl?.........See, sometimes alcohol is the answer
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10-28-2010 05:41 by
itsmyswag
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3
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