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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Ultrasonic teeth scaling at the dentist HAD to been invented by Josef Mengele....SONOFAB*TCH that hurts sometimes.
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10-10-2010 11:49
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Due to the current economy....I will no longer accept a penny for my thoughts. I want $1 for them now.
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10-10-2010 10:47
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Life is funny. Well, yours is. To me.
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10-10-2010 08:37 by
Aaron
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Puking is my body's way of saying, "Now there's room for more booze!"
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10-10-2010 08:32 by
Aaron
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The morning after the night before is always the next day.
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10-10-2010 08:29 by
Aaron
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Ha ha there's nobody here. I'm going to steal the internet and sell it on ebay! Oh wait....
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10-10-2010 08:29 by
Aaron
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People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.
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10-10-2010 06:04 by
lemonpillow
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
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10-10-2010 06:03 by
lemonpillow
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Granny- "I like pushing those rotating doors you get on the way into some places, really fast when there are people in them because it means they have to kind of run to stay standing"
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10-10-2010 05:24
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just changed his relationship status from single to engaged and back to single to see if any chicks will try to get me on the rebound.
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10-10-2010 05:02 by
tol
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noticed it is 10-10-10 @ 10.10 AM... awesome!
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10-10-2010 04:13
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You dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!
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10-10-2010 03:08 by
Rp
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You only eat candy corn when there's no other candy to eat.
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10-10-2010 02:30
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CALL 1-800-OUR-BAD, IF YOUR BRAKES DONT WORK.
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10-10-2010 02:28
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woke up really really really early today just to post on facebook "i've beaten my alarmclock today"
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10-10-2010 01:55
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ha today is10/10/10
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10-10-2010 01:52
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on the way to Comaland. That's about 24 minutes north of Shutupimsleepingville, which is right outside of Setthealarm Village.
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10-10-2010 01:21
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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.
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10-10-2010 00:54
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Whoever said laughter is the best medicine never had diarrhea!
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10-10-2010 00:49 by
SamWarren
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Girl was laughing when she saw my lil wee wee...You should have saw her face when I said GO GO GADGET
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10-09-2010 22:31 by
joe k
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