Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Today is National Unfriend Day... but what if mother won't let me unfriend?
←Rate | 11-17-2010 19:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time a T.S.A. Agent touchs your junk... the terrorist win.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 19:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...just heard that Tampax is replacing the strings with tinsel this month. ...Ladies, get them soon, supplies only last for the Christmas period!"
←Rate | 11-17-2010 19:14 by Dylan Bosch Comments (1)  


   messageicon may not be the real Santa, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen you while you're sleeping."
←Rate | 11-17-2010 19:13 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon putting on his mistletoe belt buckle!" .
←Rate | 11-17-2010 19:12 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon So... what did I learn today?.... never, EVER stand up too quickly after playing guitar hero for 3 hours straight!
←Rate | 11-17-2010 18:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 18:24 Comments (22)  


   messageicon ohh yeahh... the sex was so good even the neighbors had a cigarette
←Rate | 11-17-2010 18:23 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon You wouldn't believe how jealous she is. She even came up the aisle with her brothers as bridesmaids.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 18:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if someone with parkinson's accepts your apology for making fun of them, is it wrong to ask them to shake on it? Just asking.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 18:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon making my own four loko in a blender: a bottle of vodka, 4 red bulls, a bottle of cherry nyquil and a McRib. I'll be in the bathroom if you need me.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 18:02 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's dog may be getting too old. he/she fell over when I tried to ride him/her.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 17:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 16:25 by Herbncheese/Oscar Comments (0)  


   messageicon In an elevator I like to pull out a picture of myself and ask people "have you seen this person?"
←Rate | 11-17-2010 16:24 by abbybaby34bc Comments (1)  


   messageicon if a hermaphrodite goes missing, do you put their picture on a carton of Half and Half?
←Rate | 11-17-2010 15:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you have to fly to go get one of those TSA airport pat-downs? Just asking
←Rate | 11-17-2010 14:52 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a little girl, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 14:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a person from Iceland and a person from Cuba have a baby together, would it be considered an ice cube?
←Rate | 11-17-2010 12:49 by @clarkysj Comments (21)  


   messageicon I wish I could google the things I've misplaced.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 12:40 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!"
←Rate | 11-17-2010 12:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (6)  



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