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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Prefers the days when bustin' a cap was followed by a puff smoke and putting a new red roll in.
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11-19-2010 21:24
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Michael Jordan Brand Condoms - They make sure you score." Sold at your nearest Jordan Brand Supplier.
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11-19-2010 21:03
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Girl you must have restless leg syndrome because you can't seem to keep those legs closed!!
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11-19-2010 20:54
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I love you! And that's ok that you don't, because sometimes the beauty is in the attempt
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11-19-2010 19:56 by
BFC
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So I was just thinking, if fans of the Grateful dead are called deadheads, hulk hogan's fans are hulkamaniacs, those that mean Harry Potter fans are Potheads?
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11-19-2010 19:56 by
Mr. Gasparilla
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If first dates are interviews, then second dates are negotiatons.
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11-19-2010 19:41
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3 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a wrench, and handcuffs made out of Twizzlers. I'm ready for bootycall Friday night to begin!
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11-19-2010 19:37 by
sms
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One good thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors
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11-19-2010 19:31
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I'm not a chef. But I'd be happy to baste your turkey for you.
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11-19-2010 19:19
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I can't believe that guy in the Heineken commercial stole my wedding reception move!!
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11-19-2010 19:10
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Mexico can never get an Olympic team together... anybody who can run, swim or jump is already in the States.
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11-19-2010 18:55 by
The Mexican
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Q:Why do you want to be a flight attendant? A:So I can be high all day.
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11-19-2010 18:41
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I be the internet moves quite fast between midnight and 3am. All the Potter geeks will be at the movies rather than searching for online "secrets".
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11-19-2010 18:40
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Worried about traveling on Turkey Day, the full body scan screener may think I have a rilfe in my pants.
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11-19-2010 18:39
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I felt like an escaped hostage after finally getting off the phone with this long winded guy...do
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11-19-2010 18:03 by
mhenry
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It's amazing how many Catholic priests have left the church to pursue careers with the TSA...
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11-19-2010 17:38 by
Demon
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theres only one way to become champion ......... never loose
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11-19-2010 17:23
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you can't tune a piano, but you can tune a fish
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11-19-2010 17:16
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I just bought the Complete Idiot's Guide to saving money for only $89.99!
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11-19-2010 17:07
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I hold my Nintendo gun sideways when I'm playing Duck Hunt cause I'm a Gangsta!
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11-19-2010 16:58 by
jimbo
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