Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case...
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:54 by Grifter Comments (0)  


   messageicon You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:39 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:38 by sms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, wondering how long before we see Banging with a Porn Star!!
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooked on jenkem!
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bristol is following in her mother's footsteps, having no talent and people still root for her!
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If God is my co-pilot, then why do I keep crashing?
←Rate | 11-23-2010 20:01 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I've got Christmas spirit!! I just hung a little Christmas tree air freshener in my car.....ahhhhh smells like the holidays
←Rate | 11-23-2010 19:14 by wendy rafferty Comments (0)  


   messageicon driving and texting on his new cell pho......sweet merciful Jesus , He's heading right toward us .....freaking maniac
←Rate | 11-23-2010 19:06 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is my Friday, but yesterday was not my Thursday, because that's Thanksgiving and we all know Thanksgiving is in two more days, and tomorrow is not my Saturday, it's just Wednesday. Yesterday was Monday, not just in my world, but everywhere. Don't kn
←Rate | 11-23-2010 19:02 by jpgrw Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am thankful for the hide feature on FB.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 18:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are more men than women in mental hospitals... which just goes to show who's driving whom crazy.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 18:46 by @bleedblue365 Comments (0)  


   messageicon TSA new tagline: We handle more packages than UPS!
←Rate | 11-23-2010 18:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon TSA reports an huge increase in job applications submitted to the Miami office.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 18:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon driving out to the family farm for Thanksgiving. But first, a stop at the airport for a quickie.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 17:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna play airport?
←Rate | 11-23-2010 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon GLORY HOLE (post on your buddy's wall)
←Rate | 11-23-2010 17:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon crashing your family dinner on Thursday and bringing along a keg, dancers, a donkey and Cool Whip for the pie!
←Rate | 11-23-2010 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon believes they should change the "maybe" response to event invitations to "yep, unless I get a better offer before then".
←Rate | 11-23-2010 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear God, I know you wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle, but right now, I wish you didn't trust me so much...
←Rate | 11-23-2010 17:10 Comments (0)  



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