Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I'm excited for Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (4)  


   messageicon You don't get old, you just become a classic.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon when life hands you lemons, through it back at live and say hey I asked for limes
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:21 by ndaoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin' STILL isn't easy.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone calls you a freak just thank them. Nothing throws people off like a proud, polite freak.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook keeps telling me your friends are waiting, go use friend finder to find your friends. stfu seriously go find your own friends facebook and leave me the hell alone.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 20:03 by Ndaoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon ■I'm going to protect my statuses on Christmas this year so Santa can't “know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake.” Take that!
←Rate | 12-06-2010 19:09 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard a fantastic idea today. Instead of the strip-screener machines at the airport, we need a reinforced isolation chamber, once in, any explosives on the body are somehow detonated. Everyone is happy.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 18:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sex drive isn't too bad..... There's a hooker just three blocks from here.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 18:15 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon In this kind of weather I like to get a space heater, a good book, a pot of coffee, and curl up on the toilet.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 18:09 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend and I went to stay with her parents at the weekend, but her dad wouldn't let us sleep together. ... Which is a shame, because I fancy him.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 18:09 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Tis the season when we buy this year's gift with our next year's money...'
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you'd be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My moral compass always gets me lost.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I replied "your sister." Was that wrong?
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care about your opinion enough to argue with you about anything.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why was Frosty so excited? He heard the snowblower was coming.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?
←Rate | 12-06-2010 17:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why doesn't Homeland Security call the new "If You See Something, Say Something" campaign, "The National Tattle-Tell Campaign"?
←Rate | 12-06-2010 15:54 Comments (0)  



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