Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I swear if this day gets any better, I'm gonna have to sit on my hands to keep from clapping!!!
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we've met before." so they feel awkward trying to remember me.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a Facebook "confirmed friend request" email from the bar I got kicked out of a few weeks ago. That means I'm allowed back in, right?
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm clocks. Because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:05 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so there are no misunderstandings, I am here for my own entertainment.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:03 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon So, I saw a can of Lysol that was "original" scent. What the heck does "original" smell like??
←Rate | 12-07-2010 14:55 by Heather25 | Tags: Filtered Comments (1)  


   messageicon How come no one will ever hold my hand and skip with me in public places??
←Rate | 12-07-2010 14:53 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't speed.....I drive with purpose!
←Rate | 12-07-2010 14:52 by Heather25 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to be a greeter at Walmart so I can direct people appropriately. "Nair for your lady mustache aisle 4...Deodorant for that stench aisle 5..." etc.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 14:35 by Rayzvibe Comments (0)  


   messageicon having a spirited game of "got your nose" with a snowman. I'm totally kicking his ass!
←Rate | 12-07-2010 14:01 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon finds it interesting that the word "palindrome" is not a palindrome..
←Rate | 12-07-2010 13:47 by The One & Only | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon today, when I asked my dad why wedding dresses are white, he replied; "son, all household appliances come in white".
←Rate | 12-07-2010 13:42 by Joe Comments (1)  


   messageicon Make up, the worst lie man will ever come across
←Rate | 12-07-2010 13:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon sitting beside a hot girl that just picked her nose and put it under her seat... She's no longer hot.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 13:27 by Brick Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Do you know where the nearest payphone is located?" Um... 1998?
←Rate | 12-07-2010 13:09 by Aaron Comments (4)  


   messageicon can tell you the 5 most unappealing words in the English language... Used Hot Tub For Sale.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 13:09 by @The69Sheriff Comments (6)  


   messageicon When the cable goes out, I like to sit down and do some writing. ...Usually a check to the cable company.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:52 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I also accept gifts in the form of beer, casual sex and football tickets
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked Mom if I was a gifted child… she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people don't act stupid – it's the real thing.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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