Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon increasingly tempted to use the 'Like' button as a subversive, vaguely passive-aggressive weapon. For instance, some shithead I recently deleted who I was never too keen on, announced that his car had been stolen...It seeemed an ideal moment to click like
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:44 by Arsenalaction Comments (0)  


   messageicon 127.0.0.1 I wish I was with you right now and not at work. I would love to crawl in your nice warm bed and snuggle under the covers.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate people that say " He's a nice person once you get to know him." They might as well just say " He's a dickhead, but you'll get used to it."
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:41 by momzadork Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no such thing as being underdressed when you're going to Wal-Mart.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:40 by AT Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:13 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the news: Police squad helps dog bite victim. ........... You'd think they would be trying to stop it.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 20:58 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Darnit, my kufi doesn't match my dashiki. What on earth will I wear for Kwanzaa??
←Rate | 12-09-2010 20:45 by Vinny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dong. Oh Dong! Where is my automobile?
←Rate | 12-09-2010 20:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe they've imprisoned Wesley Snipes without first cryogenically preserving Sylvester Stallone
←Rate | 12-09-2010 20:31 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)
←Rate | 12-09-2010 19:04 by franknsign Comments (0)  


   messageicon MTV just sent me a message that had something to do with fist pumping with Snooki and The Situation this New Year's Eve. Can I fist pump them in the jaw?
←Rate | 12-09-2010 18:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all these numbers opping up, you would think somone would have a bingo by now
←Rate | 12-09-2010 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been in a relationship with Jack Daniels for so long...should be able to claim him as a dependant on my taxes.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 18:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Score ! I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough...... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !
←Rate | 12-09-2010 17:43 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I would do alot of things... But catch a grenade... Line has got to be drawn somewhere...
←Rate | 12-09-2010 17:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking if somebody invented vibrating tampons women would enjoy their period a lot more!!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 17:16 Comments (2)  


   messageicon The only # game I am playing is Barcardi 151, Seagrams 7&7, Weller 107 and maybe Maddog 20/20!!!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 16:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car heater has two settings: face melting and off.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 16:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Every Christmas Eve my family tries to break the record of number of people stuffed into one kitchen.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 16:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you always do what you have always done, then you will get what you have always got.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 16:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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