Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5360 of 5593

   messageicon Life gives guys a lot of lemons, but life gives girls a set of melons.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 04:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders why - while changing your clothes at the YMCA - old men have to flaunt and swing their wrinkled junk around? Its like they're trying to prove their manhood or attempting to iron out the wrinkles, I'm not sure.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 02:27 by Charles323 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks anyone caught wikileaking in public should be prosecuted.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 02:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Modern tragedy... Dumb people with smartphones
←Rate | 12-10-2010 01:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon growing up we all had that one friend that would raid your fridge and eat all the good snacks when all you did was offer them a drink. I was that friend
←Rate | 12-10-2010 00:17 by bigweenis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't blow my snow man
←Rate | 12-10-2010 00:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon come to the conclusion, that boxer briefs are like a bra for my balls
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:56 by Joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was excited to bring home my Xmas Tree but I didn't have the heart to tell it I'd be leaving it in the street for dead in just a few weeks.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:47 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snookie's gonna drop in the ball on New Years? Really? That's a family thing not a stripper pole!!!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon F*ck your Four Loko. I swallowed my Day-Quil with 5 Hour energy & a latte & now my pet unicorn Steve & I are off to bake cheesecakes.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:37 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend made me promise that when I fly home this Christmas it was her that I fantasized about during my "TSA pat down"
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:31 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Started watching a documentary about Fort Knox but I found it really hard to get into.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:19 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do 3 gay guys sit on 1 bar stool? ..... They flip it upside down
←Rate | 12-09-2010 23:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been told by his girlfriend that he keeps having mood swings, so in an attempt to monitor my moods she got me one of those mood rings. When I'm in a good mood it goes green but when I'm in a bad mood it leaves a red mark on her f*%king forehead.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 22:08 by ritchie armer | Tags: Filtered Comments (2)  


   messageicon You know shes a stalker . . . . or a serial killer, if you wake up at 3 'o clock in the morning and shes staring at you. . . in the dark. . . . .and says. . . "You know that I love you right?"
←Rate | 12-09-2010 22:07 by tsepang@plusmedia.co.za Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have 2 tons of that white global warming arctic packing material in my driveway right now going by the undercover name of "snow".
←Rate | 12-09-2010 22:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonder I dyslexics if can read this.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lord, please place one hand over my shoulder and the other over my mouth when I'm drunk...thank you...
←Rate | 12-09-2010 22:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching It's Complicated and thinking it's really not that complicated. Meryl Streep is sleeping with her married ex- husband Alec Baldwin and at the same time her Architect Steve Martin.I think I got it figured out..
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:58 by Just you shut your mouth Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm looking foreword to being the drunken version of wikiLeaks at our office holiday party this year!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:47 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left