Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   what does the Vikings football team and the Metradome have in common? They both collapsed under pressure this year

   There is no end to the lengths that Brett Favre will stoop to protect that streak of his. He must have been up all night cutting away on the roof of the Metrodome.

   ♫ Oh the weather outside is weather.... ♫

   I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

   exploring the relationship between mistletoe and camel toe

   It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

   It doesn't matter if you win or lose until you lose

   *<[:{D> ho ho ho

   Already got my Halloween costume idea for next year...I'm reusing my Chewbacca costume from this year, putting a tight dress on it and going as Khloe Kardashian

   My first day of fantasy camp turned out to be my last when I found out the "Jugs Machine" wasn't what I envisioned at all.

   ❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ Taking singles to the strip club

   I've come here to chew bubble gum and get laid. Looks like I'm all out of bubble gum.

   Where do you go if you're addicted to rehab?

   Claustrophobia-The fear of Santa Claus

   what would the world be like if everyone went back to their own country?

   I think the moonwalk should be part of the field sobriety test. Take away saying the alphabet backwards clause.

   Cam Newton's winning the Heisman surprised no one - especially Julian Assange, who knew about it a month ago.

   still wondering what Chet did to get his nuts roasted on an open fire.

   Just took a duce so big and hard I think it was my first gay experience

   that was a sweet lifeguard job till the stupid blue kid got me fired.