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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome
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12-17-2010 20:25 by
Michael Askins
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Likes being vague.. because its almost as fun as doing this other thing..
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12-17-2010 20:23 by
Michael Askins
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Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
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12-17-2010 19:42 by
Esoteric
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Vodka+Ice damages your kidney. Rum+Ice damages your liver. Whiskey+Ice damages your heart. Gin+Ice damages your brain. Damn Ice, how much more damage can you cause?
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12-17-2010 18:51 by
Esoteric
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slipped on the ice today. After landing I looked, but couoldn't find my keys, wallet, or watch. It must have been black ice.
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12-17-2010 18:22 by
Ken Huston
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My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.
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12-17-2010 18:20 by
Marshall the Great
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner??
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12-17-2010 18:19 by
Marshall the Great
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There's gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to "Baby Got Back."
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12-17-2010 18:18 by
Marshall the Great
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This is a Facebook wall, not a knitting class. You don't come onto my wall, drop a challenge and leave.
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12-17-2010 18:18
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I've just renamed my wifi network to "Police Surveillance Van #02". That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
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12-17-2010 17:10
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Thanks to procrastination, my schedule is always full.
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12-17-2010 16:22 by
Scarlet
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if in 2012 the world does not end, the naked guy sticking his tongue out of the middle of the Mayan calander can lick my @$$.
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12-17-2010 15:44
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Just made my very own holiday fruitcake. It wasn't that difficult. All you need are some twinkies and some skittles.
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12-17-2010 15:16
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After I get Christmas bought, I will be so broke that come New Years I'm gonna have to party like it's $19.99
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12-17-2010 15:02 by
Gr~April
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Really needs to stop making friends with random people at 7-11 while intoxicated
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12-17-2010 14:37
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I was religious.... right up until about the age of reason.
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12-17-2010 13:05
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IF I cared, I'd draw you a map of your ass with an X marking the spot where your head is buried."
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12-17-2010 12:50
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i like to say a BIG HAPPY CHRISTMAS to the person who dropped money on the floor today.thank you
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12-17-2010 12:12 by
brendan gault
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With the fuel prices as high as they are, I'm actually hoping for coal this year!
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12-17-2010 10:51
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thinks Santa should send all the naughty people Justin Bieber CDs instead of coal for Christmans
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12-17-2010 10:26
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